Nerve

The old folks spoke about people working and/or stepping on a last nerve.

Today is one of those days that I have like one, maybe two nerves left.

My head has been hurting all day.

The day started with news of the death of Phife Dawg. That really saddened me. Besides the fact that I was still waiting on an unlikely reunion of A Tribe Called Quest, it served as a reminder of the passing of time.

I’m older. I don’t like a lot of today’s music. Which really makes me feel old.

I am reminded of people saying that rap music wouldn’t last or that people wouldn’t be grooving to it 20-30-40 years from now. And here I am 41 years old still saying,

“Here’s a funky introduction of how nice I am. Tell your mother, tell your father, send a telegram”

Or

“I never half step ’cause I’m not a half stepper, Drink a lot of soda so they call me Dr. Pepper”

Or

“Float like gravity, never had a cavity. Got more rhymes than the Winans got family”

Throughout the day while reading, writing, trying to write, trying to sleep this headache off, trying to clean, trying to wash clothes, trying to mother my baby, trying to fix dinner, trying to supervise homework I’m sad about the loss of Phife Dawg, really an iconic figure from an iconic group and just in a melancholy place. Along with this damn headache.

So I’m sitting here looking at the daily prompt trying to not let too many days go by without blogging and the word for today is Nerve and I recall that today is just one of those days.

I’ve got about one nerve left. Don’t get on that last one!

Fight- Daily Prompt

Fight

The last daily prompt that I participated in was with the word Drop. I wrote about dropping negative self talk. The word fight brings on that same thinking. There is often an internal fight that we are struggling with.

Every day, whether we are aware of it or not, we make choices. We act in response to situations and emotions and there are times that we lose in the fight to be our best self  (at least that is what I am trying to do).

There is a saying that I like – When you know better; you do better! But I can’t tell you the number of times that I lose in the fight to do better…things that I know I should be doing.

Stop drinking pop!

Exercise 3-5 times a week!

Write Daily!

Work on my novel!!

Plan my families meals for the week!

These are examples of fights that I often lose with myself. These examples are really simple but they illustrate how easy it is to get off track with things and of me not be my best self.

It is a daily fight

Drop

Drop   –  Daily Prompt

Sometimes you have to drop things and people out of your life when they aren’t serving you. We often hold on to things that are harmful to us because they are so familiar.

Things like self doubt – drop that.

Things like negative self images – drop that.

That voice in your head that tells you that you can’t do what it is that you really want to do. Drop that.

You might have to pick up some things along the way. Positive people in your life; reaffirming messages. Pick up a community of supporters. If you don’t have one, build it.

If this message helped you in anyway, drop me a line in the comments.

A Great Day

It almost feels like Christmas. Today I received wonderful gifts. I’m already exceedingly blessed but today just makes me thankful for all of those blessings!

First my son came home from school and recited the poem Dreams by Langston Hughes. I was very proud of him. He is growing so fast. It reminds me that time flies and these precious moments are Fleeting.

Then the doorbell rang with my Essence Beauty Box filled with goodies and a box of books – Ruby by Cynthia Bond and The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson.

I have finished all of Octavia Butler’s books and the have just started on Citizen – An American Lyric by Claudia Rankine and Men We Reaped, a Memoir by Jesmyn Ward.

I will be happily reading!

I am also in my last week for my first two classes in my writing program!

So today’s great day serves as a reminder that life is also great.

It’s easy to get caught up in things that are going wrong. I’m hoping that my great day can help someone to remember to focus on what is going right. Always acknowledge those moments. They are fleeting.

Live to Eat or Eat to Live – Daily Prompt

The prompt for today is Live to Eat

Right now most of my friends are living healthy lives and are eating to live. I am somewhere in between. I LOVE food. I LOVE eating. I LOVE dining out. I LOVE cooking. I don’t always restrict my diet.

Before traveling to any city/state, the first thing that I think about is food. What is the best restaurants of that location?  What type of food is that location known for?  I’ll have a list in my head or on my phone .

My husband eat’s to live.  I try to feed my family rule food. I try to have healthy snacks in the house and I try cook healthier than I use to.

After reading books by Michael Pollan and watching documentaries about food, processing food, conventional farming, GMO’s ,etc. I became cognizant of the impact of my food choices – on my body/health and the environment.

So I would like to live to eat good and healthy real food.

 

7 months strong

So Meridian is now 7 months old.

That means that I have been breastfeeding for 7 months. This is the longest I’ve ever done. So I’m proud!

That also means that we have been cloth diapering for about 5 months (we started when she came home from NICU).

She is now eating some solids. All homemade.  Thanks to the Baby Bullet, I can easily make her food in batches and freeze it.

Here’s a few pics.

Are We Afraid to Teach Black History?

Came across this timely post and felt the need to share. It’s important that our children know and learn from history and learning at home can certainly be more beneficial than learning in the world sometimes.

Mind of Malaka

This Monday we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday. People in pockets all over the world feted his life and work by doing community service and imparting the lesson of equality. I’d wager that anyone over the age of 40 could share a personal story centered around the civil rights movement, either as a result of personal experience or first-hand accounts from parents and grandparents who suffered the malice of discrimination that plagued this country for centuries.

But what about the children of those people over 40? How much do they know about Black History, including the Civil Rights struggle? I’ll be the first to admit – with much shame – that my own children know nothing at all.

To be fair, Nadjah just turned 7 years old, so it’s unrealistic to expect her to know how many millions of human souls where shipped from Africa and died in the…

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YAWN – Daily Prompt

( YAWN ) What bores me? Power Rangers.

Today’s prompt was about what bores me?

If I had answered that question a year ago my response would have been different. For example, I am not a shopper. Going to the mall and digging through sales and clothes/items has never been my thing ever since I was traumatized in stores (particularly Kmart) by my Big Momma (grand mom). I especially hate shopping with other people. Going to the mall with girlfriends is the quickest way to give me a headache and a nasty attitude. To keep myself in check, I always bring a book and if I can find a place to sit while everyone finishes shopping then I can manage to make the best of the shopping trip.

Now, of course I have to shop from time to time. When I go to the store, I like to know what I want and go to a store or two and get out before my feet start hurting.

But today, I’m a stay at home mom. And I love to get out of the house. There are times now when I love to go to the store! And all of a sudden, I’ve become a shopper. I swear for a few months after I moved here, I had a package being delivered from amazon.com about twice a week.

I suspect that I might still end up with a headache and a nasty attitude if I found myself in a store for too long with certain folks. But today, that would not be my number one answer for what bores me.

The answer today would probably be Power Rangers. I hate Power Rangers!! My seven year old son loves them!!  I have tried to get into it with him but that has to be the cheesiest thing ever made – the dialogue, the costumes, the special effects. All of it sucks. Thankfully, I always have a book nearby and I can read until it goes off and he’s had his Power Ranger fix.

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If I could turn back time

This is the number one rule for your set, in order to survive gotta learn to live with regrets – Jay-Z

Today’s daily prompt is If I Could Turn Back Time – if I could relive a part of my life which part would I return to and why?

I try not to dwell in shoulda-woulda’s because its counter productive and life experiences help to shape us into the people that we become.

I do have a couple of pivotal moments in life that stand out where I could have chosen to do different things but even those worked out for my good (think all things work together for good…)

One such moment is moving back to Michigan. I use to regret giving up my job and security clearance to move back home. But when my daughter got cancer, I realized that I was in the right place because I was able to have my mom and family (and family of friends) there to support me through that. I can’t imagine having gone through that experience without my mom. She was present at doctors appointments with me and I will never forget posting that my daughter had had a seizure and my mom coming into the hospital room soon after. So in the end, I was thankful that I had moved to back to Michigan. See how that worked?

The other such moment is not going to the college that I wanted to go to because I was depressed about being pregnant my senior year in high school and then not staying at WMU because it was difficult being a single mom there. Instead, I quit and ended up joining the military. Where I was still a single mom and finished college the non-traditional route and getting a degree in business management. Something I wasn’t even interested in.

Today was my first day in a graduate program and I’m doing what interests me and not just what is expedient. So today’s prompt was quite timely.

As soon as I read the prompt, Jay-Z’s lyrics from the song Regrets popped into my head (Jay-Z lyrics are always in my head…actually my head is always full of lyrics. Period.) and here I am full circle. Instead of dwelling on shoulda-woulda’s, it’s ok to recognize life’s cross roads and realize how each of our experiences add layers and meaning to our lives. Sometimes in negative ways and sometimes in positive ways, but really it’s all a matter of perspective.

peace