repost from my facebook page.
repost from my facebook page.
I have another blog too 🙂
I once saw a quote from a meme on Instagram before that said to “trust your struggle”. And I filed that in the motivation section of my mental Rolodex.
The past few months have been yet another lesson of adjustment for me where I am repeatedly reminded to Trust My Journey. I left my previous job and became a contractor thinking that I would make good money and could concentrate on writing my “great novel” only to discover that I wasn’t making enough and I really didn’t enjoy what I was doing. So I had to scramble around trying to figure out a new plan. All the while, also dealing with life as a wife and mother and full time graduate student in this new city (2 years and still new to me).
I spend a lot of time being a resource and helping other people but when it comes…
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As the weather is changing and the sun is shining less, it’s more important than ever to find effective ways to pick yourself up. Summer is gone. It’s getting cold outside. The days are shorter and darker.
I’m one of those people who love fall (not winter). The colors outside are beautiful. You get to wear sweaters! There’s Halloween and pumpkins and then thanksgiving with family. It’s also the perfect weather for indoor reading and reflecting.
I once saw a meme that expresses that fall gives a visual example of how to let things go. That stuck with me. If there are some things in your life that you need to let go of, now is the perfect time to do it.
I think of a feel good bank. I try to stay in tune with my feel good account and keep a nice balance. If you need a little pick me up, there are small things that you can do that go a long way –
Lastly, if you have people you love, there are times when they just make you smile and feel good (I know there are times when they don’t) and it’s good to pull from your memories of those times. How did that make you feel? I know when one of my kids tell me thank you or I love you out of the blue, it makes me feel good.
On Saturday’s, I get up early in the morning to take my son to violin lessons. On the way there, we listen to the Myths and Legends podcast because he enjoys it. Afterwards, we usually stop and get a mocha for me and a hot chocolate for him. Although I hate getting up early on Saturday, I love that he and I can share that little time together alone. And that always gives me a few feel good points for my feel good bank.
A few weeks ago my family had a discussion about our goals after dinner. So I grabbed a pad and pen and we each made a list of our goals for 2017.
I’m not going to restate them here, but while enjoying my cup of coffee at the same table today, I was reflecting on them. I remember being very impressed with my son because his goals were so simple but were things that I have been speaking to him about.
That let’s me know that he listens and it’s a reminder of the importance of being intentional – in parenting for sure- but also as I go about my day.
Im often thinking of my cart before my horse. I’m often planning in my dreams and not focusing on the day to day nuts and bolts…the steps to get to the places that I want to be.
Dont get me wrong, I have accomplished quite a bit and I’m moving in the direction that I want.
But every year, I reflect on things in preparation for the new year. I’m always thankful for my blessings, my family and friendships. But, the older I get, I find that my desires and end of the year thoughts and plans are eerily similar to previous years. While that reassures me that I’m on the right track and that I’m in tune to my passion, it is a reminder that I have let a few years go by still doing the building and planning in my head while not always building those things in reality.
I don’t have any New Years resolutions. I do have a few new short term goals. I want my family to write our goals down every year, or every six months.
And more than ever, I want to check some things off my list.
So an old friend sent me NPR’s Guide to 2016’s Great Books.
I started looking at the list and got so excited!! If you are thinking of buying me a gift, please peruse this list. My birthday is coming up 🙂
Check out the Book List
I’ve already started compiling my list of books to read over the next few months. I plan to start writing book reviews too. So look out for that. I have a few on the blog already.
So last night, I dreamt a whole novel. Each scene played out vividly. Ask me if I wrote it down?
So here I am at work trying to go through my dream and write down what I can. It was a good story. I use to do that with poems during my most prolific writing period. I could be driving from work and a whole poem would sprout in my head. By the time that I got to my destination, I would have worked out all of the kinks.
Admittedly, that prolific writing period was a long time ago. But thanks to school and Nanowrimo, I feel like whatever was there is still there. If that makes sense.
As for Nanowrimo, I got in almost 9,000 words. Way short of 50,000. Now, that doesn’t count all of the papers and stories that I wrote in my two classes. I was very distracted in the month of November. It was my first time trying Nanowrimo (I’m committed to trying again next year) and I’m proud of myself for trying. I don’t even want to continue what I wrote for it, but I do plan to keep the characters, research and story arc. I want to do something with it.
I have learned to keep writing. When I was in boot camp for the Navy, I had to jump off of a diving board. I had never done it before and I was scared. Beyond scared. But I didn’t want to go home. So I jumped. I kept telling myself that I could do it. And the whole time that I floated/swam I kept telling myself that I could do it.
I’m going to use that to push myself and continue on toward my goal of finishing my novel by the end of 2017.
I can do it.
I can do it.
I can do it.
It’s the first day of NaNoWriMo and I have been so nervous with anticipation.
But day 1 is done. I have 1759 words in!
1759 down. Only 48,241 to go (Yikes)
So I have this hesitation to call myself a writer. I always use the phrase “aspiring writer”. I know that it stems from fear.
I have an uncontrollable urge to write – I’ve always written poems, essays, blogs, letters. But because I had never finished a novel, I just couldn’t bring myself to refer to myself as a writer.
I’ve been in a writing program for the past ten months now. I’ve learned a lot about the craft. I’ve finished some things – two children’s books, numerous essays, and quite a few chapters towards a couple of novels that I plan to finish.
And that is the Holy Grail, for me. A finished novel.
Enter NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo is a mad dash towards a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. It ends at 11:59 p.m. on November 30th. I learned about it a couple of years ago, when I had no intention of even trying. Last year, I thought about trying but I didn’t have the courage to start.
This year, I’m jumping in. I’m filled with excitement and mostly fear. Hopefully, I will finish. I will surely try.
Because there is nothing new under the sun –
Bore the strange fruit
Of black bodies swinging
And today the streets
are filled with black
Leaving communities and families searching for meaning
Uplift the race
But no matter how much
We thrive, strive and survive
I have to worry, teach and protect my son like it was 1855
I have to worry about his
Pants, his shirt, his diction,
Facial expression, height, level of threat that may be perceived
Because he is breathing
And therein lies the threat
Black life matters
But black life
My sons innocence is only felt by me
And this not not a new narrative
This is a recycled theme
From the continent
To the ship
To the shore
To the field
To the tree
To the factory
To the city streets
Lying in the streets
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