Last night, I watched the last two episodes of season 5 of the much missed tv show, A Different World. These are the episodes with Whitley marrying Byron/Dwayne (Episodes 24/25).
Prior to those two episodes, Dwayne had flaked out on Whitley and went on a date because he wasn’t sure that he was ready to marry her. He told her that he had doubts and she said, “You have doubts, not dates!” ANYWAY
I remembered all of my excitement and joy when Dwayne walked down that aisle saying Baby Please!!! and she runs down the aisle saying I do!! The 1992 me was elated and happy that true love prevailed. I was like “Poor Byron, Yay Dwayne!”
While watching last night, the 2014 me began to wonder if Whitley made a mistake. Should she have married Byron Douglas instead of Dwayne Wayne?
In 1992, I would have said that you don’t settle and true love conquers all.
In 2014, I know that true love doesn’t necessary equal happiness or longevity. And is it settling to be with someone with whom you also love and have common interests and pursuits? Is it settling if you are thinking with your mind instead of your heart?
I don’t have the answer but I wonder if I’m thinking of this all wrong. Is a “worthy love” only the fiery, all consuming, passionate, soul-mate kind of love or does responsible, compatible, mature and stable love count? Is it possible to have both?
Would you choose Byron or Dwayne?
Under The Ra 
Dwayne
Yes and yes! I agree with what you said on all accounts. My 20s something cheered for Whitley and Dwayne. My now, 39ish person knows that Byron would have easily won. Love complicates things. I believe we get easily lost in thinking we can’t have both. It doesn’t need to be either or. It can be both. It should be both. Whitley loved both. Byron offered stability and security. What’s wrong with that AND love?! Nothing. Dwayne was a good choice. But it also came with struggle. She compromised in some of things she wanted and who she was. Matters of the heart require the mind. If you don’t take your mind with you, your heart will be broken.
I do believe that you can have both and personally welcome the joys and pains of a relationship. In growing with my spouse, I learned that there is nothing in this life I want to go through without him! And if you are going to be in a relationship it may has well be one with a man that after a decade still gives you butterflies when he enters the room!
Oh, and can pay the bills! Lol…
Love this…..back in 1992, I was team Dwayne!!!! Partially still am :)…but that stems more from seeing the chemistry building up between Dwayne and Whitney over the years…I wanted to see them win because of that….Dwayne had his eye on Whitney and she shut him down every chance….but then she saw him in a different light and it was love ever since that moment…..those two have history….true real passionate love……but nowadays there is so much more to consider than just love….Byron was stable and well established….but would Whitney have been bored or quick to fall out of love if she had chose Byron (the more logical choice)………just like amaizingbluebaby I was thinking along the same lines as to why we can’t have both….why do we have to settle for one over the other….the 2014 me would say choose Byron…
Great comments ladies! I want both! I would choose Brron today